It can be difficult to separate yourself from a toxic coworker, especially if you work in a small company or in an open office space. While there isn't one magic solution to cure unhealthy work relationships, there are some ways to navigate your interactions with coworkers who complain about everything.
1. Turn attention elsewhere:
Just like a spotlight illuminates an actor on the stage, the more attention you give to a drama-seeking coworker, the more they may seek the limelight, and the more you may feel the negative impact of their behavior. Instead, turn your attention elsewhere and don't dwell on their actions by complaining to colleagues. If possible, try to limit your interactions and how much you share.
2. Recognize what's in your control:
While you can't control a coworker's negative spiral, you can control how you react to the situation, such as not getting dragged into the drama or hone in on the real issue at hand and then walk away.
3. Set healthy boundaries:
If you always listen to your coworkers' gossip or complaining, they may not know that it's something that bothers you. Instead, set clear expectations and boundaries. Tell your coworkers that you aren't interested in the latest office speculation or ask for the facts. Alternatively, keep your interactions brief.
4. Talk to your coworker:
Sometimes, coworkers who complain all the time or spew negative energy don't realize that they're doing it. Find time to speak with your colleague directly — but not in the heat of the moment! — and calmly and objectively discuss how their behavior is affecting you and others at work.
5. Talk to your boss or HR:
If your coworkers' behavior persists, talk to your boss about the recent challenges and conflicts and how the team as a whole can improve its working relationship. This can help to set clear expectations and boundaries. If your coworker has crossed a boundary, ask someone in HR to step in. While it can be intimidating, having a third party can be a way to defuse a situation and get an outside opinion.
6. Take care of yourself:
Working with a toxic coworker can drain your energy, so it's important to take care of your own physical and mental health. Find and practice healthy coping skills. Go for a walk outside, meditate, or journal to give yourself a mental break.
So if you have difficult colleagues at work, take a deep breath. Remember that it's important to create healthy boundaries and protect your own emotional and mental health.